When we experience life’s difficulties it can affect our feelings of self worth. I know that, because of the experiences I had as a child, that I did not feel worthy of being loved. I felt that, because bad things were happening to me, that I must be bad and not worth taking care of. I was unable to rationalise as a child that the people who were doing the bad things to me were the ones who were bad. The reality is that we are all worthy of being loved and taking care of ourselves in a healthy and balanced way.
God made us and, if we say we are not worth taking care of, then we are really bad mouthing his creation, which, of course, we would not want to do. It has always helped me to realise this on the days when I am not feeling so good.
God know and loves us in spite of our weaknesses. Luke 12:7 says that God even knows how many hairs we have on our head. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
As I have already mentioned I struggled a lot with being able to take care of myself in a healthy and balanced way. So much so that I even had ME or chronic fatigue syndrome at one point.
This is a debilitating illness categorised by extreme fatigue, which is not relieved by rest, muscle pain and weakness. Praise God I am much recovered from this now. I am able to work part time and lead a pretty good life. The ME or chronic fatigue syndrome definitely came from a place of not looking after myself in the right way. I was spending time looking after everyone else but somehow forgot about me. However, we need to care for ourselves as well as others. If we had a houseplant but failed to water and feed it, then it would not be in good shape. We are the same. We need feeding and watering to keep us in good shape.
As part of my job as a support worker in mental health, I sometimes have to take patients to physical health appointments. When taking a patient to one such appointment, I was encouraged by a poster I saw on the wall of this department. It read: “The best thing you can give your family and friends is a healthy you.” I love this statement. It is so true. When I was poorly with ME I was virtually bed bound for about six months and needed my parents to take care of me. I was in no position to help anyone else and couldn’t even care for myself at times.
I think that some Christians still think that it is selfish to look after yourself and care for your own needs. But surely it is selfish not to, especially if it reaches the point, as it did with me, that I became very ill and was of absolutely no use to anyone else.
I remember attending a small group at one church. I had just been discharged from a psychiatric hospital and, even though I was still not in a good place, was planning to go back to work. At this small group I asked for prayer for my situation. You would have thought that I had committed the ultimate sin. After the small group had finished, I was taken to one side and firmly rebuked. I was told in no uncertain terms: “We don’t pray for ourselves. We pray for the poor people of Africa.” This person obviously thought it was selfish to consider your own needs. However, I absolutely disagree. Yes, of course, we pray for the poor and needy wherever they are in the world. But we also have our own needs and, though, they may be different, they are no less important to God. It is important to note that our God is a very big God and He cares for us all, no matter what our needs might be. The irony is that, during the small group prayer time, the person in question accepted prayer for their own situation. I think that this kind of hypocrisy is very unhelpful to the Kingdom of God as it discourages people from having a faith. The sad thing is, that people without a faith, look at the behaviour of those who do have a faith and think there can’t be a God. Of course, as human beings, we all fall short. If we were perfect then we wouldn’t have needed a Saviour. Since this incident took place, many years ago now, I have sponsored a young girl in Rwanda. I smile wryly to myself as, unless I was able to work, I would not have been able to support this young lady financially. So, yes, my needs may be different to this young girl’s; however, they are no less important to God.
I think that it is vital to take time out to care for ourselves so that we can recharge our batteries and have enough energy and resources to go about our business again.
I love the fact that self-care is being promoted much more these days. Self-care doesn’t have to mean a grand gesture such as planning a big trip to the Bahamas or similar. It can be small things built into our schedule on a regular basis. It could be taking a bath or shower using some new smellies. Or spending time with God in the Word or listening to worship music with a cup of tea. For me, I know I have hit the right note if I am able to spend some time reading a Christian book or listening to a Christian podcast.
Other ideas for self care include a night in on the sofa watching a movie, reading a newspaper, going for a walk, gardening, sorting a cupboard or a drawer out, doing some colouring or drawing, meeting a friend for coffee etc.
Whatever you enjoy doing and replenishes you, try to pencil in some time to do this because, as the heading to this blog says, “You are worth taking care of.”
Feathers from Heaven 